How to jailbreak an iPhone 3g without using a computer?

If anyone says jailbreakme.com I will find out who you are, abduct you in the middle of the night, and you will find yourself in the middle of the deasert with raw meat superglued to your skin with cyottees chasing you.

Jailbreakme.com

In a short answer… You can't.
why are you refusing to use a computer?