Why does iTunes keep deleting my playlist?

Most of the playlists on my iphone i made on my phone (rather than in itunes) so they don't show up in itunes when i plug my phone in, it only shows the ones i made in itunes. The problem is every time i add music to my phone it deletes all the playlists that aren't in my itunes library. Many people have said that the way you fix this is to "manually manage music and videos" however i already have that checked (i always have since i got my phone). Does anyone know what could be causing this problem?
Another peculiar thing is whenever i modify my phone at all (add/delete a song/video/audiobook… Etc, or even just rename something) after i click ok, in the top screen/window/box (where it tells you what it is doing) it says: "syncing >song name<" and x of x (eg: 1 of 256) and a progress bar. There's usually about 200 some songs it goes through in 10-20 seconds. The funny part is i have way more than 200 some songs on my phone and the ones it syncs don't seem to have any relation to each other i.e. They aren't all on one playlist or they weren't all just added, they aren't all from the same artist, they don't really have anything in common. I believe it is the same few songs every time. I don't understand why whatever it is doing it doesn't do to all the songs and why it does it every time even if i don't do anything to those songs. The first time it happened it was with 8 songs (the same ones every time), then it moved up to 40 or 50, then 100 some and now 200 some. It kind of worries me. Can anyone help?

Punch the itune creator or your laptop / phone

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