Feeling EXTREMELY depressed - looked HIDEOUS in iPhone camera?

I don't have very much self esteem and to try to prevent triggering it I avoid looking in cameras or taking pictures or selfies. I'm fine with mirrors (well only one mirror, hate the rest) When I look in the mirror in the morning I like what I see and feel confident. I haven't taken a selfie in about a year and half because the last time I did I ended up feeling immensely depressed. For some stupid reason I let myself be pressured by a friend into sending a picture to her *& I just wanted to conquer my fears and looked on the front view iPhone camera and I looked so so hideous. I only managed to take a moderately ok picture by ONLY tilting my phone and head at a certain angle and smiling. I don't look that bad when I smile but when I'm not smiling I look awful in the camera (it's impossible to smile 24/7 and aches after a while). It's because when I smile my eyes go smaller so I look better but when I'm not they have such a plain ugly shape and look gross (in the camera - ok in the mirror_. I'm in such shock because I looked So different from what I see in the mirror and felt like the most awful person for even having the nerve to exhibit a tiny bit of confidence in my day to day life when the whole time I've been looking so horrible like that.

I know you might just think it's not a big deal or get over it, I'm a drama queen etc. But I have a history of mental health issues that got severe last year. I've managed to recover step by step but this has shot me back to the bottom. I feel severely low and I'm even considering harming myself. I'm not exaggerating I genuinely feel this way. I see counsellors 2x a week btw. I don't know how to get over this. I'm so ugly and hate how I look when I'm not smiling which is how I look the majority of the time. Please please tell me how I can get over this and be happier because I'm seriously considering doing the worst…

With your kind permission - young lady- as you're young enough to be my daughter- a good, big, warm hug is hereby sent to you0in spite of the distance- to begin with…
you're at the utmost age of growing and flourishing in every way-on one hand- and a very difficult age too-on the other hand-even regardless of your soul problems- as if they weren't…
you sound to me depressed and/ or traumatised deeply and severely enough… Enough to stay on close psychiatric follow -up and treatment… Yeah…
anyway- beyond this- you must do your best to boost your self- esteem and self-confidence… Learn to love and respect yourself along with respecting others.yeah, baby…
please- heed the fact that both the inner and outer beauty and ugliness as well are in the eyes of the beholder…

I hereby beg you- from the depths of my hot heart and soul - which your words here just shook: refrain, repeat-REFRAIN - from ANY form of even trying to self -harm or take your own life - whatsoever…
heed the fact that NO ONE and NOTHING is worth your paying the price of your life- nor that of your quality of life-either…
be so kind-please -to do yourself the favor to see yourself as you probably are: just another unique, unrepeatable pearl of Mother Nature- therefore entitled- at least as much as everyone of us-to a normal, happy, dignified life…
please - understand, head and comply with the wise Jewish saying:''don't say: that one and that one are handsome and I ain't-cause there'll come a day and you both will look exactly the same…''= enjoy your life while you can…
practice some kind of outdoors sport… But NEVER starvate yourself -nor self- harm whatsoever…
additional questions are to be asked in real life… Professionally qualified medical help is required…
may you stay forever- blessed and kept safe and proof from all harm…
please-inasmuch as possible -immediately let your parents/ closest available family exactly know what you're going through-ask for and timely get the help you need…

There are some people who look good in photos and there are
some who don't.

I'm one, who doesn't ever look good in photos. I don't take them and I'm not in them. It might sound vain but, I look better
in real life.

Taking a selfie with an iphone is not a good idea. So many things can go wrong. The lighting in the room, the back ground, and I'm sure you were self conscious at the time.

Try not to let this be a set back in your recovery.
That photo is not what you look like to everyone else. Your
soul doesn't show in the pic. You can't capture kindness, caring
or positive vibes in a picture.