Getting organized, how do I pull it all together?

I manage2 small business, take care of disabled spouse and manage a household. I have ipad and iphone but can't seem to find the right app or paper system to control calendars, tasks, to dos, appointments, special days, etc in one location. Doesn't have to be electronic but I have to pull all this together somehow

Marry the to-do lists with the calendar so you can schedule what you need to do appropriately. There are two paper planners that I love for this: Harold Taylor's planner (www.taylorintime.com) and the Planner Pad (www.plannerpad.com). The majority of my organizing clients embrace the paper planner because it is super accessible, never runs out of power, and easy to use.

There are benefits to ditching the pen and paper approach. For example, you can get reminders on your iPhone. Paper is great, but it will never play a sound to remind you to do something.

The program I use is VueMinder Pro. It provides all the items you mentioned, all in one convenient package that can sync with Google Calendar (and your mobile devices by extension).It can also send SMS reminders, which is a feature I use daily. In addition, it can print paper calendars in a variety of formats.

I've tried a lot of electronic and paper-based solutions, but I haven't found anything that even comes close to the elegance provided by VueMinder. It's a truly superb product and I highly recommend it. The developer also seems very responsive and actually listens to suggestions.

A trial version can be downloaded here:
http://www.vueminder.com/index.php?page=download