How to buy an iphone on food stamps?

I need the new iphone because I only have the 4 not even the 4s but I only have food stamps. Does anyone know a apple store that takes them? I told the guy at the store that apples are food but he said it didn't matter. I think he is a liar what do I do? I need the newest one.

Added (1). This is serious! Its and emergency!

Find somebody who needs food stamps that you can trade them for something cool. Then take that object and find somebody who wants that and trade it for something cool that they have. Keep doing this until you have an awesome item that somebody with an iphone5 would want. Just make sure you always uptrade, be smart about it.

Nice trolling there bro.

Thanks for the 4 points

Find someone who'll give you cash for the food stamps.