How to ever trust someone again after they've cheated? - 1

I was with my boyfriend for 9 months. We're seniors in college. He claims he wants to marry me when we graduate. I lost my virginity with this guy. He repeatedly, to this day, tells me how "perfect i'm for him".

Over the fall, things got really hard. I was taking 20 credits of science, and working. Now i also realize i had clinical depression, which accounted for a lot of my unhappiness.

Things were starting to get better in december, so much better. Then he went on vacation after christmas, and i was watching his dog. He got a new phone and left his old iphone. I turned it on. And found out in his email he had replied to two personal ads on craigslist. On pearl harbor day. I was devastated. I found out from the girls themselves he never went out with them, but he did ask one out to coffee one night… Literally not an hour after he'd dropped me off. Then he didn't go. Why?

I broke up, and boarded the dog. He swears he will change, it was a mistake, he'll do anything to fix it. I want to believe him, since early in our relationship, i cheated. I went to counseling, and never did it again. I'm a better person and our relationship was better afterwards.

But my question is. How do you ever trust someone again after they cheat? I found out he had a POF account, hacked into it, and his craigslist and ebay. Nothing suspicious.

All those times now in our relationship, when he had a migraine or was going hunting with his best friend. I now am paranoid… What id he was with other girls?

If we get back together, I don't know how i can go home and not be tempted to spy to see if he's left his apartment. He goes out of town to visit his dad and in my mind i would be afraid he'd be seeing/sleeping/dating a girl there. I now imagine if he's not answering his phone, what's going on.

Any advice? I really thought this was the one, and my heart is breaking.

After the trust is broken, it is very difficult to get it back. For a very long time to come, you will always have that little voice in the back of your head saying, "what's he doing". After being cheated on, I think we change. For better or worse, we hold back something from our future relationships. Personally, I believe leopards can't change their spots.