How to fix children who have it all?

I have two kids a boy (17) and a girl (11). They are both very spoiled. I will tell you story and if you could give me your opinion that would be great. My son got an Xbox one for Christmas (Side Info: he got $350 dollar headphones (not beats), these will come in later). And my daughter got her much wanted american girl doll #5 for her named Emily. About two weeks after Christmas we took our kids to the Stanford shopping center. I took my daughter down to the American girl place there and got her $150 worth of stuff there including a doll. Two weeks after she had received Emily. My husband took my son into the Microsoft store there, and got him $250 dollar beats for his iPhone 5 and iPad only. Do you think my kids are spoiled? If you do how do you think I can fix it.

Yes they are extremely spoiled. To fix it learn to say no. They may throw a fit at first but they will get over it.

They arent spoiled if you are buying them gifts. They are spoiled if they act spoiled and bratty. Do they do well in school? Older child have a job and do well in school? They cause trouble often?

* Yes they are spoiled.
* Since YOU are the ones doing the spoiling, stop it if you don't like the consequences.

Send them to a cultural exchange program where they live with a lower class family in India or Africa or (if you are Christian) take them on a mission trip to one of these countries and make them live like the natives live while you are there. Don't protect them from the poverty and hunger around them. Make them experience everything!

Not really. $150 at the mall is nothin'. A lot of money was spent on headphones though.

On a side note I was on the poor side when I was a little kid yet I was a brat. Poor kids sometimes need "fixing" as well…

It depends how they act. If they are well behaved I'm sure they deserve everything and more parents buy kids 30,000 doller cars at 16 that live in middle class income houses. If they deserve it spoil them on occasion.

I think at Christmas it is okay to go a little crazy if you can afford it, as long as you make sure they are still grateful. However, I think you should limit the non-holiday gifts. If they want something, I suggest you have them work for it. Your son is likely old enough to get a job. I'm assuming your daughter is still a little bit too young (kids can't be hired until 14 where I live), but she can still work informal jobs such as mowing lawns or having a lemonade stand. In fact, a lemonade stand would also be a good opportunity to teach her about business. Your daughter could give your son some of the money earned if he helps out and your daughter is willing to get the help. However, I'd leave the actual selling to your daughter since younger kids are more likely to make a higher profit. You can explain to your daughter how she must put aside some of the money she makes in order to buy more lemons, that way she can continue her lemonade stand and make more money. Have them save up their money and use the money they earned on their own to get what they want. Gifts are fine on special occasions, just don't overdo it.

If your children do not respect their gifts, yes they are spoiled. If they are thankful and appreciate the gifts, no they are not spoiled. You don't spoil a child by what you give them, you spoil a child by what you require of them. If you require them to be polite, thankful, happy, helpful around the house by expecting them to do a few chores, and are generally obedient then no matter how much you give them they are not spoiled. If you require not much of them, they are disobedient, sullen, whiny and complain, nothing is ever good enough, then you have spoiled children.

Why not spoil them with your time and attention?

The other thing is if you are buying it all on credit them you are spoiling them in a different way. If you work hard and have the money to buy gifts, there's no problem.

Send them on a mission trip to Haiti.

As long as they appreciate it they aren't spoilt.

Stop buying them things they don't need for no reason when they don't earn them… They will throw a fit but be a real parent and say no and stick with it. I think you know they're spoiled because you asked the question.

Your Answer: We really think it would be beneficial if you were to call into a Hotline and speak to a crisis counselor. We know you are struggling right now and want to want to help. Take Care
KO, Counselor