How to syncronise music to my iphone?

I want to synchronise music to my iPhone off my media player on my laptop, but it doesn't seam to find my device because it says connect a device! But then when I connected my mams nokia windows phone is found the device a synchronised it ok! What should I do I don't understand what I'm doing wrong?

Added (1). I don't want to use iTunes, that's why I want to synchronise!

You need to use iTunes.

I tunes