I'm not kidding HUGE emergency

Ok so I don't know exactly where I'm but like just now i fell off a cliff and now I'm like scared to death and peed my pants and now I see a river and now I landed in It so its a good thing my OtterBox® case is water proof and OMG my leg is bleeding and a big chunk of it is missing and my question was can someone dial 911 and fast cause there's like some piranhas over there swimming toward me hungrily and I just tell over a water fall and landed on an alligator that's now chasing me so hurry please call I need your help!

Sent from my iPhone

You call that an emergency? I just dropped my hot dog.

Um use your phone if you had enough time to type out this you can dial three numbers

Okay, ere's what you do…
DIE!

And yet your using a computer

Ahh, yes. Mad Cow diesease affects millows of our bovine buddies secondly. Just remember: elvis was the buttocks of the horse, and charlie chaplin was the head.

Stupid won't iphone get wet in river? And how can you swim faster than alligator? Thats not a well-thought lie, i would say.

And You are saying that you are typing while swimming wohh… Buddy how many hands does you have.

This is why the human race is doomed.

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