Is this real, or am i fantasizing?
I've been having an awful week. On monday my girlfriend told me to act like friends in public. Yesterday she broke up with me by leaving me a message on my iphone notes. I called her and she said she loved me and i said i love you back. I really do. Today, i was in camp and she didn't come. While in the bus going to a far away paintball field i couldn't do anything but cry. I'm an atheist, more or less. I don't believe in heaven, hell, god nor satan, but i felt so so bad today that i actually "talked" to god. I just talked in my head directing it to god. I asked him for a symbol, any symbol to show me that life's worth it, that i'm someone, that i should continue. Well, i forgot about it, i "knew" nothing would happen. I was wrong. I was with her talking and she stood up and walked away, she told me she didn't want to talk anymore today, she said tomorrow. She saw that i was sad and followed me outside and agreed to finish talking. We sat at a picnic table, where we talked. We were talking about many things. Mostly about her, her life, her past, how she feels, bad things. I told her how i felt about her, and that i really love her, she said i love you back but that was it. I was sad, and she started texting someone, when i suddenly hear a noise, something like a bird. I looked at the bush with flowers and saw two hummingbirds. I told her there were two hummingbirds at the bush and it hit me. I got happy and i said i love you confidently. She got hiccups as i told her about the infinity symbol when they flap their wings, and told her about what i asked god even though i'm atheist. Well eventually she left and as she left the two hummingbirds came back. It made me happy, honestly, but reading a symbolism for hummingbirds online just left me.
Hummingbird:
The hummingbird is a messenger. It is also a symbol of love, joy, and beauty. The hummingbird is also able to fly backwards, teaching us that we can look back on our past. But, this bird also teaches that we must not dwell on our past; we need to move forward. When the hummingbird hovers over flowers while drinking nectar, we learn that we should savor each moment, and appreciate the things we love.
Please give me your opinion.
Real life
You were not fantasizing. If you were lucky enough to see 2 hummingbirds then its a sign and its probably telling you to pick your head up, look back at your mistakes and keeping moving forward. If she broke up with you the bird was telling you to find a new love in your life. They probably chase her away because they know she's not your love.
hope this helps!
Your an atheist. Now act like one. Stop talking to an imaginary friend. You are young. This is puppy love. It is nice that you noticed the humming birds. But, keep your head do not let your emotions get the best of you.
Take it one day at a time.
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