Itunes account syncing with Iphone.not working

For some reason all of the sudden when I went to sync my iphone to my laptop( it is the only computer I plug my phone into) it won't transfer my new ringtone. I use a free ringtone website and it has always transferred over before, I also have the latest edition of Itunes. 11.something. And I hate it.
- but what happens when I go to "my my name ihpone" in the upper right when its synced and click on tones it just only gives the option to click the box " sync tones" everything else is grayed out. And it does not list any of my other tones.
- when i click that then I get a little pop up stating that if I sync that I will lose all music movies read lists etc. So i hit cancel.
- I called Itunes tech support and they won't help unless I pay them.
Please help! I don't know what to do and I don't want to clear my whole entire phone Library!

When you look in the other tabs (music, Apps, etc) what does it show?
Is the sync box checked?
does it show music to be synced to iPhone?

The warning isn't new, have you been syncing wirelessly till now?
It isn't going to erase everything, it is just going to sync what you have checked. If you unchecked anything it gives this warning.

Go thru each tab and make certain you have everything selected with a check that you want on the phone, then click on Apply then sync.