My fiance's ex won't leave us alone - What should I do?

My fiance and I have been together for a little over 3 years, but we broke up last summer for 4 months because of issues with trust. While we were apart, he had relations with a few women, one of which was his ex (his first love and the girl he lost his virginity to). When we were together, we had many issues with her contacting him and him not telling me about it, hiding it, etc. We have been back together since last August with no visible sign of her… Until last night. She called him at 1:00 a.m. And he was reluctant to tell me who it was. Finally, he did, and he spent a good amount of time reassuring me. This morning, he even deleted the voicemail in front of me without even listening to it. However, once he went to work, I believe he used his iPhone to undelete it and listen to it. It is causing me a lot of stress, and I'm scared about what will happen. I have never been allowed to see the messages she sends when she tries to contact him or anything. He hasn't even told her that she should under no uncertain terms leave us alone. I wish he would. In fact, I wish I could talk to her myself. Is it unreasonable to tell him that he needs to make it very clear that she is to stop contacting him? We have a lot of trust issues that we're trying to work through because he has lied a lot in the past, and this has been a source of tension throughout our entire relationship. What should I do?

Drop this guy. The problem is him, not the two of you, and there isn't anything you can do to make this better. If he had relations with a few women over a period of just 4 months, lies, and still maintains contact with his 'first love' that he's secretive about, he isn't ready for a steady girlfriend, much less engagement & marriage. You deserve someone better than this. And you might need some counseling to get back your ability to trust people in close relationships.

Have you ever considered that they won't leave each other alone? How do you know that he doesn't initiate contact with her? The fact that he hides her contacting him speaks volumes! You shouldn't have to tell her anything. He should have done that a long time ago. He hasn't because he doesn't want to. I'm willing to bet that she is a more permanent fixture in his life, then you are.