My mom makes me feel guilty because she expects me to take care of her. Advice?

Just graduated and want to buy a home in a different state than I already am. But my mom wants me to help her get a place and pay the bills or buy a home here and pay for it. Thing is I'm frustrated with my mom because she doesn't try to help herself. Every time I go around her I'm financing everything, buying something to eat, phones off, clothes and shoes and gas and sometimes bills. She's married. But her husband can't keep a job. And she hasn't worked in over 15 years. I'm at the point where I'm tired of dishing money out to her. She only calls me when she needs things, expects for me to buy her iPhones and pay her bills. If I was rich I can but I can't. I feel sad because everyone doesn't have their mom. She wasn't the best mom growing up either. Every time I see her she looks sad and go on and on about money. Any advice? She says it's my job to take care of her

At some point in time you have to take responsibility. The problem is HER the first few times she plays this game. After you've said YES a million times, you have to admit the problem is now YOU and your lack of backbone.

Learn to say NO. Practice it. "Gosh I know you'd like a new phone mom, but if you can't afford it then you'll have to wait until you can."

"She says it's my job to take care of her" "I'm sorry you feel that way mom because you're an independent adult just like I'm. We all have to learn to live within our means."

So what if she screams or cries or stomps her little foot? She won't break or die and neither will you.

And don't feel guilty about moving away. You aren't her mommy.

From your mother.
For the nine months she carried you growing inside her, no charge
For the nights we sat up with you, doctoring you, praying for you, no charge
For the time and the tears that you've caused through the years there's no charge
When you added all up the full cost of our love is no charge
For the nights filled with dread and the worries ahead, no charge
For advice and for knowledge and the cost of your college, no charge
For the toys food and clothes and for wiping your nose there's no charge
When you added all up the full cost of our love is no charge

Which ever way you look at it (Sorry in advance) you've got a deadbeat of a mother and stepfather, that you need to distance yourself from as soon as possible. That's the only possible way you're going to survive and be able to afford and the do the things you'd like to do, now and in the distant future. What you actually are feeling is guilt by association (In that she's your mother) but that's not stopped her feeling guilty for sponging off you 24/7, or even for raising you badly and having to go without far too often. We can't choose who our parents are or what they're going to be like, but we can however choose how we allow them to treat us and affect our lives. I'm not all about bashing your mom or stepfather, but I'm seriously about helping you to fly solo and as independently as YOUR financers allow YOU to live and go about YOUR daily LIFE. What sort of life is it for YOU whereby every hard-earned dollar you make, you're constantly guilt tripped into giving most of it to your mom? The point that you made that everyone doesn't have a mom but the roles are suppose to be completely reversed in that she's supposed to be the one helping you out. Every excuse you've afforded yourself your mom and stepdads minds are already doing overtime in order to come up with other manipulative ways of milking you dry. Move away as soon as possible and plunge YOURSELF into debt (By that I mean buying that home) so as you can honestly then say, mom I'm broke paying for this property, sorry. Of course it's sort of a fib, but at least you'll be able to sleep comfortably knowing she'll eventually stop asking, just as long as you keep with the same line "I'm broke paying for this property.

Yes your mom makes me feel guilty because she expects me to take care of her… Advice.