Pay for it or turn it over! Is this wrong?

Back in Sept of 2017 both me and my wife upgraded our cell phones on out account. We have a family plan and leased our phones. There were 2 options. Buy our current phone or send them back for a small credit. The cost to purchase the phone at that time was not worth it so I sent mine back. My wife was going to send hers back until her son decided he wanted her old iphone 7. The cost to keep the phone was more than $200 so she gave him the phone and Sprint tacked on that cost of the phone to our account which I'm paying. He promised to pay for the phone. Since then he's only paid about $50 while I'm still paying for the phone. I told him and my wife today that he either pays for the phone on his next pay check or give the phone back. My wife feels that's too mean because he has other people he has to pay. He borrowed money from his grandma to buy his car so he's paying her back, He has his car insurance and phone bill now, among trying to keep a very needy girlfriend happy. She thinks we should give him more time. I think it's been long enough. Yes, he works but what he's making isn't enough to pay everyone he owes so we're the ones getting stiffed. He's 21 and will go stay with his girlfriend, at her parent's house for 3 or 4 days a week but then come home to wash his car and get his laundry done but we're suppose to just keep turning a blind eye to the fact that he's not following through with his obligations.

Added (1). Am I wrong to try and take the phone from him since he hasn't paid for it? You can't buy a car and keep it for 6 months without making payments on it or they'll come repo it. You can't be mad at the finance company or car dealership cause they took your car. But anytime I mention anything about the phone my wife keeps saying, "he'll pay for it, just give him some more time." How much time does one person need?

I'm there with you on this one, he said he would pay for the phone then that's what he needs to do, in fact do this cut him a deal tell your wife that he can pay the phone in 2 payments or he needs to return the phone, he needs to learn a lesson. Good for you for standing up for your self brother.

I agree with you. It's better that he learns by owning money to you, than to bank.

No you're not philosophically wrong. However, this is your wife's son and she is entitled to gift her spoiled rotten son her used phone. You are not the end-all be-all decision maker about what she does with her belongings.

Your WIFE is the problem here. If you don't want her to make gifts/loans to her son or continue to enable him financially, then the two of you will have to sit down privately, discuss the issue and come to some sort of agreement you both can live with. Don't get caught up in the minutiae of this phone. You have a bigger issue here to tackle. You've got a self-entitled, spoiled adult living with you and your wife is treating him like a helpless baby.

Maybe your wife should pay for it since she's the one that gave him the phone

No

Yes he needs to learn now that he can't over extend (live beyond his means) Good time to learn it.

You're correct in your feelings. Just wait until a few more years when her son constantly needs money for something he couldn't afford. You and your wife will constant be his personal "bank" until your wife puts her foot down and insists her son become more responsible with his finances. Next time he needs money for something he can't afford, send him to one of those "Pay Day Loan" establishments for money. Maybe when he pays 10 or 15 percent for the weeks loan, he'll start budgeting his money a little better. If he doesn't learn quickly, he and his significant other will be living in your basement!