What am I supposed to do?
My mom's changed. It's like she is always trying to argue with. She missed out in my older sisters 16th birthday so I hoped she wouldn't my 16th. On my 16th birthday she wasn't even around me. She went out with my dad to a friends house. She swore I could order something off Amazon but, when I asked if I could order it she would say no. She would only want to order it when we argued about her buying new furniture or new tv's but she won't order my jacket. I kept telling her not to order it because If she ordered it she would ignore me and treat me even worse. My 13 year old sisters birthday is Saturday and my mom's going an hour away just to get her a new Iphone 6. Keep in mind my sister sits in her room on the phone she has now and eats all day. I clean and cook while she sits in her room. I stayed away from them all day yesterday because I just needed one day left alone with no fighting and they sat in the kitchen and talked about me. All my mom does is call me pathetic and how she wishes I stayed with my brother. How she's sorry I was even born. I cry everyday because of her. My older sister is coming up here so I I'll have her but, if something doesn't change I don't wanna be here anymore. When I lived away from my mom she cried about how much she missed ME and how much more she will miss ME than my other siblings. She always puts the blame on me. It's my fault we don't get along. It's my fault we argue all the time. It's my fault I didn't get **** for my 16th birthday.
What you are describing of your mom is directly a strong case on how NOT to handle ones insecurities, where it is PROVEN FACT that to blame all others but oneself, that is a chronic case of a person with the highest of insecurity values, and it really is pathetic. There really is not a single thing you can do for her on this, where I often would suggest to arrange a day with her to discuss how to handle insecurities, take the article to her and ask her for help with interpreting it.
https://beautifullyzen.wordpress.com/2012/07/26/six-tips-on-dealing-with-insecure-people/
http://coping.us/toolsforpersonalgrowth/handlinginsecurity.html
I do hope that you can find some answers for yourself in these articles, and do hope for anything better for you, as what you are dealing with is its own kind of torture.
Missing your kids birthdays is not the sign of a good mother. And letting you order from Amazon is not the same thing as having a party or taking you out to celebrate. What you can learn from this is that if you have your own kids some day to be a better mom than she was and you will be rewarded for it by being loved by your kids.
Maybe you should go stay with your brother if she's going to treat you like that
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