What do you guys think of my story so far?

Sorry for any typos! I did this on my iPhone at 1:00 this morning. I edited it about 4 times, so I think I got them all. Again, sorry. Also, sorry if it's not indented or spaced properly. I'll have to fix that once I get my laptop fixed.
Thanks!
http://www.wattpad.com/55243952-memories

Its a very good start for a story and please let me know if you add to it because I would definitely want to read it!

I think it's an amazing start for a story. Is it gonna be a short story or something longer?

Also I loved the use of present tense--it reminded me of the Hunger Games, which is like brilliance in book form.

Keep it up!

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