Why do I look so ugly on camera?

Every time I take a picture on the iPhone camera and it flips the photo I look absolutely disgusting? My face looks slanted and one eye looks bigger than the other is this a joke? I thought I looked bad in the mirror but if that's what everyone sees me as that's even worse are those photos accurate?

When you look in the mirror you're seeing a false image of yourself as your eyes are horizontally inverting the inage you see before your brain processes it, so how you look in photos is more accurate than the mirror.

You may not look so hot in real life. Have you considered that?

Cameras don't see exactly as humans do. The one eye bigger than the other? All that, physics. Disgusting however is all you. Picture quality depends mostly on the skill of the photographer. The camera is only a tool. In this case, the choice of tool sadly tells a lot towards your skill level.

Cameras have no choice but to be accurate. Now lighting, angles, etc. Do affect the finished product.
Where would a camera get inaccurate information?
"My face looks slanted and one eye looks bigger than the other is this a joke?" - nope. That is how the cellphone was held. The "closer to the lens" eye will look bigger.

You (and all the rest of us) fashion a mental picture of what we look like derived from our dressing mirror (shaving and make-up mirror). This is an explicit view and when we look at a photograph of ourselves, we expect this look to be replicated. If this does not happen we're displeased. Professional portrait artist and photographers are successful when the images that make imitate this view. Some artists/photographers acquired this skill by trial and error or by training.

The need to replicate this view is a matter of getting the perspective "right". When imaging using a camera, things close to the lens reproduce large and things further from the lens reproduce small. Most notably, if the camera is worked in too close, the nose reproduces too large and the ears too small. We look at this image with its distorted perspective and say "I don't photograph well, I will break your camera". The countermeasure is simple; the camera placement must be further away from the subject. Easy to say but difficult to do! Most phones sport a lens that delivers a wide-angle view. The tendency is to work in too close. Same is true for unskilled photographers using a genuine camera.

The remedy that mitigates images with improper perspective is to simply step back when making a portrait. Skilled portrait photographers mount a moderate telephoto lens when doing portraiture. This forces them to step back and this does the trick. How important is this detail? Think about it! The difference between a pleasing view and a displeasing view is just a microscopic change in facial expression. Everything is important when it comes to imaging the human face. Correct perspective is just one of the many fine points that makes up a great portrait.

You are probably experiencing perspective distortion which is very evident when the camera is held close (arms length is close) to the subject. To solve this, the camera should be more than 5 feet from the subject. Perspective distortion is why most selfies taken at arms length look bad.

Sigh… For the ten thousandth time on this forum.

You are experiencing DISTORTION due to having the camera too close. The camera needs to be several feet away from you and a telephoto focal length set.

Ideally, you also need a REAL camera, not a telephone.

Smartphones all have wide-angle lenses. These lenses produce wide-angle distortion which makes things closer to the lens look much larger than things further away. The difference in distance doesn't have to be miles or even feet. In fact, the further away the lens is from your face, the lower the amount of distortion.

The problem is that you're using a wide-angle lens (intended for landscapes) as a portrait lens. The only way to get a shot of someone's face with a smartphone where it looks normal is to back up at least 5' and keep their faces away from the edges of the frame. The distortion is most prevalent at the borders of the frame. Putting someone at the edge of the frame will likely result in their heads becoming pointed even if they're more than 5'-10' away from the camera.

Here's a link showing how you can make someone look beautiful or very ugly simply by using the wrong lens (for reference, your smartphone uses a lens equivalent to 28mm in the provided link): http://www.stepheneastwood.com/tutorials/lensdistortion/tilepage.htm