Wife had an emotional affair.but said it was not physical?

I just recently found out my wife had an emotional affair with a family friend. It lasted about 2 months. I found about by retrieving deleted texts on her iphone/ipad. Essentially they were texting frequently some of it was clearly inappropriate nothing too sexual but I didn't see every text.

I confronted her and she told me that what I saw was the worst of the texts and that it never got physical. She said that 95% of the time they were together it was with other people usually at a bar(which is true I've seen pics on instagram). She did however spend the night at his house after one late night of drinking. She told me she slept at her parents house but the very next day she told me she slept at his house but nothing happened and that she slept on his couch.

She admits to the emotional affair but swears up and down that if never got physical. She says she was not looking for that from him. She did not pull away sexually from me at all during her emotional affair and the other guy is not physically attractive at all.

We're now in marriage counseling trying to move forward. Whenever it comes up she swears to me nothing physical happened. We both want to move forward but this one thing is still eating at me. I just don't feel like she has the heart to tell me something physical happened. It would be further devastating to our marriage and because he is a family friend it would be damaging to her parents too.

I'm just not sure what to do. I can't maker her tell me anything and maybe she is telling the truth.

I don't know thats a tough one bro! Girls are a mystery. Thats why you have to go with your heart and make sure your happy with whatever you do.

Before confronting her you should have done more detective work. Any ways she would have wiped all the evidence by now. I would say due to the benefit of doubt give her another chance, I know it would be hard for you the erase the mental image you have developed for her but may be your consouller can help you with that.

If you don't know, if you have no evidence, maybe it's best not to be hasty. On the other hand, there's that 'suspicion'.

Difficult question. Her family friends, etc are irrelevant.

It depends on how comfortable you are with your present situation. If you are living on your nerves, then leave. Not worth it.

Paul, I very well can just imagine the position you're in at the moment. You DO want to believe her, but at the moment you're just plain torn between truth & lying. Since you are going to a Professional, they do have a way of getting to the roots of most things. I've done my fare share of counseling over the yrs. Can honestly say they do work. I would say with the counseling you're doing, you WILL find out the truth of it ALL. Try your best to trust what she says is true. I feel if it's not, the counselor will have a way of getting to it ALL. Try your best to put the past in the past, bury it deep. Go forward with your lives. Your past will forever be gone, but the future still your own. For now do your best to FREE yourself of it & see how your future goes. IF things are going well, you two are happy, then live in today & let go of yesterday. I trust it All works out for the best for you…

It is very possible that they had an emotional connection and not be physical. Especially since she didn't pull away from you physically. Would you consider yourself emotionally available for her? Because it sounds like that's what she was looking for. And only that.

So, you have a choice. Either you choose to believe her and let it go. Or you don't, but then you can't move forward and heal.