How to get rid of the stupid thing that slides down on the iPhone lock screen?

It's so freaking annoying! What is it even for? Sometimes I receive a notification, but when I grab my phone, I accidentally slide down, which shows the weird list of notifications, but they aren't even in any order; all I see is really old notification from like 300 days ago. When I slide up to get rid of this useless list, I can't find the notification anymore. This is really annoying cause it often happens. I have no way of knowing what the notification was. How do I get rid of this stupid feature. It doesn't even make sense! It's so frustrating!

Wow, seriously? You are so clueless that you can't simply hit "Delete" on these "annoying" notifications, or just turn off the feature? If performing this exceedingly simple task is beyond your meager capabilities, you may wish to consult a specialist at the nearest Apple Store, Best Buy, or a retail storefront of your cell phone's carrier.

That's Notification Center, so its not a weird list, its those same notifications you get from the various apps you have installed on the phone. The default order is time as well as the app, so if you have other notifications from an app that gave you the most recent one all of those are grouped 1st & so on & so forth.

You can't get rid of Notification Center but if you'd rather the notifications come as pop ups as they did prior then you could change that in the Settings.