How do I stop messing up in life?

I always either let people use me, lose good people or shoot myself in the foot. I've been the black sheep at school and my family since I can remember. I was bullied by fake friends and siblings. I was really awkward. As I'm 22, I've burnt a lot of bridges and have hadextreme emotional mood swings until recently. Now I'm low key petty and if someone pushes my buttons and puts me in a corner I can lash out.

People laugh at me for the erratic things I did. Even strangers I never met give me dirty looks.

I'm a push over. I bought my boyfriend an iPhone after he kept begging me. Now he wants the newer one and he looks at me funny for not wanting to. I let people use my car, pressure me for sex, lent out too much money. But when I need those friends to bring me to fix my car they were busy.

I suck at managing money. My credit is good now but I still owe hospital bills and am behind in my taxes. I know I'm not responsible. I hate myself because I feel like i won't make it in this world if I don't change.

I'm book smart but not street smart. I always attract toxic people who I let use me. They talk down on me but want me to respect them.

I used to want to kill myself but I just want to press a button to fix myself and be loved by people. I'm tired of being an idiot. So what do I do to fix myself before I'm broke and alone?

Learn to say no to people, be harsher on them, don't let them use you for **** sake. You might be a good person, but that's no ******* reason to let them treat you this way. Yes, strangers might give you dirty looks and I doubt that will change, most guys do target girls today so, that should at least give you some confidence about your body. But in general, don't be so good towards them, because they will learn how to use that side of you for even worse things (talking from experience). So be yourself, and **** them (metaphorically of course).

I think you know what to do.
So do it!
Get rid of the boyfriend and stand your ground. Do not date or associate with these so called friends for at least a year until you toughen up and stand on your own two feet, without anyone putting pressure on you.

Now you listen up and listen good.

The only pressure put on you is pressure you allow others to put on you.
You control your destiny, no one else.

You got that?