How to deal with disrespectful child?

Love my nephew with all my heart. His Mom ran out on him. He has stayed with me since I was 18 I had to drop out of college and raise him. I gave him to my Mom last two years to finish college finally. I got him every weekend and on all holidays. Buys all his clothes, shoes, games whatever. My issue is he's really ungrateful. I have no kids. I'm 27, I've put my life on hold for him. He says things like if you can't get me this (1,000 things) don't get me anything for Christmas, my birthday and things like that. My friends have this and that. Roll his eyes and give me attitude. He's almost 10. I'm just so overwhelmed. I don't know how it feels to be single and free. I don't get any support or benefits for him
Any parenting advice. We just got into a huge argument because he told me not to buy him anything if he can't get an iPhone 7 or 8 and he already have an older one. I'm just overstressed.

Why do you have him? Tell your mom you are done and that you are relinquishing all visitation or guardianship if you have any. If you are not receiving any benefits, I'm pretty sure your mom does.

If he has problems in your mom's home, then find a foster home by turning him in to CPS. They know how to handle abandoned children.

Tell the child to get a job like everyone else. He is old enough to mow lawns, deliver newspapers, walk dogs etc. The sooner you get that through his head the better. Teach him that no one gets "everything they want" and that life is not fair. Tell him if he wants something bad enough, he should work for it like everyone else.

And tell him that at the slightest disrespect, he is going back to grandmas, and stick to it! Even if you have to walk away from movie theater, play date or whatever it is. Put him in the car and drive him back to grandmas.

If the child is too much for either of you, then talk to a social worker.

Ps/ 10 year olds don't need iPhones, old or new.

First of all, kudos to you. This young man has no clue how lucky he is to have strong women in his family who won't abandon him. Hopefully someday, he will realize just how lucky, but for now, he is trying to flew some muscle and become a man. He trusts you as his #1 person not to hurt him, which is why he's pushing back on you. He doesn't really know what it takes to get the things he asks for, and now is a great time for him to learn. He also doesn't know how self respect and leadership is earned, and he needs someone to teach him- this is an opportunity first, and a challenge any boy goes through.

First, realize you control all of his resources, and its time to let him earn some of them. As with any near-adolescent, pick your battles. Don't take everything away from him, or you'll have nothing more to remove, but comments about how his phone isn't good enough might result in removing the phone for a weekend. Before it's restored to him, an apology is required. When you get that, immediately follow it up with a proposal for him to be able to earn whatever it takes to upgrade to a new one- in a long time frame that will take him a while. He should make no more than minimum wage, and can earn it by doing extra - never essential- things around the house, or better yet, in the homes of adult friends or relatives who need yard work, snow shoveling, heavy grocery lifting, car detailing or housework. Help him plan out the number of hours it will take to earn the real difference, and don't shove him towards the finish line, let him do it himself. If he wants it badly enough, he will do it, and it's an important lesson. You might also observe that he may want some lesser things - ask if he would like to earn one of them along the way. At ten, he may have the long view, but everyone needs a reward for work, too. A movie ticket would be a good incentive. If he's been respectful and going in the right direction, some money for popcorn. He should earn the big stuff, and stay on track, but bonuses along the way will also keep him focused.

He's looking for his place in the world, and needs a way to earn his way and gain some self worth. He needs to learn the value of things- and he needs to learn respect. If he's disrespectful to you or your mom, make it clear he won't be working. Hindering his progress towards that phone upgrade will cost HIM.

While you are doing this, realize he also needs a male role model to show him the way. Get him on the list with Big Brothers Big Sisters, as soon as you possibly can. A volunteer Big Brother can teach him things you have no way of teaching him, and he's a prime candidate for the program.

Don't give up, but think ahead as to what you can actually enforce. He doesn't have money of his own, but beware of drug dealers and gang leaders who will tempt him with it. It's important that he not be allowed a lot of free time where they can pick him up and offer him the leadership and perks he so desperately needs. Pick him up after school, make sure you know who he's with. And look into any programs the local police have to intercept kids like this- they may have a program that matches them up with a cop so they form a bond. You don't want him on the wrong side, and the more familiar they are with each other, the lower the chance of something terrible happening.
Engage all the programs you can find - you've done amazing things for him, but he needs more than you can give him, and you need help. Apply for him to have a Big Brother, speak to the local police, check out the local Boys & Girls Club, and give him opportunities to earn what he wants. That will make the difference between a punk and a proud young man who just earned some nice kicks or an amazing new phone.

Good luck. It's a big job, but you're halfway there. Don't give up on him. He needs you, andwith some help, he's going to make you proud.

There are a bunch of article with help about raising children at I don't have kids, but my friends who do say that they are a lifeline.

You & your mom MUST set house rules & concequences TOGETHER for your nephew to ABIDE by. NEVER give into his tantrums, all kids have tantrums & I WANT times. Also he MUST EARN any allowance you or your mom give him weekly or monthly payments, he MUST DO CHORES, washing plates & cutlery, setting dinner table, bring his dirty laundry down EVERYDAY, keep his room tidy, wash your or your moms car weekly, have his homework handed in on time, do his homework DAILY, ONLY on the internet AFTER his daily homework IS done, put trash cans out on roadside when they ARE DUE to be emptied WEEKLY & brought back into your or your mom's backyard, He can have internet access for 2 and a hours each night, if he HAS complied with ALL the DAILY CHORES he MUST do. If NOT, he gets NO allowance & phone taken off him for 2 weeks, NO tv at the weekend,. NO going to sleep overs for 1 month. There you & your RULES of BOTH your homes. Take Care & IGNORE his tantrums & attitudes as it for HIS own good, LIFE HAS RULES that folks MUST abide by.

Stop spoiling him the worst thing parents do these days is give in and become the child's friend rather than the parent because the child will manipulate them and keep pushing his or her boundaries to get what they want.

Lay down the law your rules and house.

The best advice is found in the Bible book of Proverbs. Starting with verse 6.
Proverbs 22:6 "Train a boy in the way he should go; Even when he grows old he will not depart from it." Also verse 15, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a boy, But the rod of discipline will remove it far from him." Society has taught many young ones to be selfish, and focus on their own entitlement. The Bible has many answers for dealing with, or properly raising children. Please check out this website.www.jw.org.

I would take everything away from him, like the electronics, tv, laptop, expensive toys etc and put it all away ( locked up) , so he only has basic clothes, shampoo and stuff to do homework. I would make him do chores and ' work ' for everything back. I saw this on Facebook, where a parent did this and it worked… Sorry but he doesn't deserve any of that.

Slap their but