I just wanna scream but i can't?

Okay well heres where it starts. In the 6th grade i fell in love. Yes at 12 years old i found who i wanna be with forever. Well i ended up moving and me and him had to break up after 3 years. Since i only lived there for 3 years. Now i'm 2 hours away from him and i would just visit him sometimes but my parents HATE him cause i snuck out a few times. Its been 7 months and i'm going crazy.):
I miss him and i cry about it every night. And i HATE my new school. No girls in my grade like me and i've heard its cause they feel threatened because i'm pretty but i don't know. I'm friends with upperclassman and thats nice, but the girls in my grade are the ones i have all these classes with and i feel so alienated. I feel so alone and depressed. I have nice clothes, and things and all. And i'm greatful for everything. I just. I don't know. I know my moms loves me but a while back i actually cut myself and my mom went nuts on me and was threatening to send me to a hospital for a long time and i just don't know what to do. I wanna be with him again. Thats how i could be happy. I don't want anyone else. You may say just find another thing that makes you happy and i've tried everything nothing beats him. And the smallest things make me cry or make me mad and i know its cause i'm depressed. I don't even want to spend time with my family because they all end up ganging up on me making fun of me or just trying to make me mad. I just wanna scream and cry and scream and cry but i can't. I just have to hold everything in and smile so seriously everyone thanks i'm happy. There's so much more i just can't type it all cause i'm running out of numbers (i'm on my Iphone) but i just wanna die or move back or just get outta my school or have a therapist but if you knew my mom you would know i can't tell her that. When i tell her something personal she freaks out on me and tells my dad and my family and all her friends and all of my family. I have nothing to do… Help?):

Added (1). Look… I wasn't trying to sound like a spolied brat who wants to die. I'm depressed without him and all my old friends. My family PICKS on me. They tell me i'm lazy, they tell me i need to get friends, my siblings constantly tell me how ugly i'm, my sister calls me emo. Please don't be rude. I'm a human i have feelings guys. I've heard i'm too nice. So i'm not NEAR a brat.

You can always move there when youre 18

From your writing I see your from a solvent family, with little worry about your next meal or any other material need for that matter.
You have grown into a very self centred and selfish individual, used to getting your own way in just about anything you desire. Your prudish, vane, egotistical, rude, and demanding. It's little wonder you have difficulty with peer associations.

As for your reliance on 'tantrums' and 'self mutilations' , these are signals to you that resorting to extremes gain even more freedoms and privileges, though you must be careful not to become over reliant on these.

Personally, I would relieve you of all your privileges and permissions, reverse your current life style and bring some real disciplines into your life and hope they're not to late.

You are spoiled and I'm certain it's not all your fault.

So you had a crush when you were 12. You were not in love- 12 year olds can't fall in love, they aren't mature enough physically or mentally. If your family picks on you then tell them to stop because it bothers you. If they don't, just avoid spending time with them. Your just a PMSing teenager, you will feel fine in a week, tops.