I'm trapped in a McDonalds bathroom! What should I do?

(I'm asking this from my iPhone) It was late at night and I went to go take a big one. After about an hour on the john I went to go finish off my food but the bathroom door was locked! All the lights are off so I think they closed. It's like 10 AM now so I've been in here for over 8 hours! I think this McDonalds is closed for today! I'm getting thirsty and hungry and I'm freezing in here. I tried calling the police but they thought I was joking. What should I do?

If it took you an hour to poop, you have bigger issues

Call 911

Call someone you can depend on to help you.

Find a Mclocksmith before you die of Mchunger!

If you're not trolling: Just keep calling 911. There's no way they'll think you're joking. Or if not call someone you can rely on

Tell me the address soon!

So how are those death threats treatin' ya?

I'd almost believe you, if it weren't a global fact that McDonalds is open pretty much every day of the year.

If it took you an hour to poop, you have bigger issues

Call a friend or family member… Lol

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