I want to start living a full life as myself but I don't know how

I'm not very good at opennings, so let's just skip it. So, I'm a 15 years old girl. I'm not a native english speaker so if there are some mistakes, I'm really sorry. My question is: How to start living a full life as myself? I realized that we only have one life and I don't want to waste mine but that's exactly what is happening. My whole life has been tough: I lost my closest friend that I experienced the best memories with (turned out she wasn't even my friend), my parents have rows all the time, I'm lonely and afraid to chase after what I want. I was kind of. Bullied in my last school because I was either too nice or honest. I'm lonely and I have no one since 2011. I used to be the happiest and most positive girl. I lost myself because I tried so hard to fit in. I don't even know who am I anymore. I'm afraid and I cry a lot. I wish my life was beautiful and filled with great moments. I wish I had a real friend who I can talk to about everything. I'm in a new school now. Since 2012. I feel so alone. I'm hanging out with 2 girls but it doesn't make me happy. I feel like the third wheel. At home, there isn't peace at all. I'm really nice but I feel like I supress my real perosnality that is very wild and outspoken because I'm afraid of something. I also think I have a mental disorder. I'm finishing school this month and I was wondering: How can I change this summer epically and start living happily as myself leaving the past behind forever?

I have no idea. I have the same problem. People suck

To live epically does require certain changes, epic changes for that part, however living epically is not necessarily the best depending on what you mean by that. Some people live epically for others, some people live epically for themselves. By the sound of your tone, i can assume your young and passionate about best you can be, regardless of what that entails.

i started living epically when i turned to books, they excited me and and gave me a dimension of perspectives and ideas and thoughts i never had before. That was probably the best time of my life. But thats for certain people. What is your definition of epic?

i suggest make a list: example
I like movies
I love people, odd people with peculiar humuor…
i like company and people, i'm outspoken, i want to share my thoughts
I want to be a positive force in peoples lives, i want to be talked about even when i leave a room behind me

then do something about it
A) I will get a movie account, start research on my favorite actors, directors, cinematography. I will find out what i love about these movies. (and in the process you will understand who you are as an individual based on what you gravitate to). Next, i will shoot short movies myself, first my iphone, then a better camera…
B) Since i like people, I will find out what people like about me, keep a journal of what people respond to when i speak, why people want to be around me… And I will try to find similar communities, online, socially at school.
C) since i'm outspoken maybe i will start a youtube video blog. I will do my research on what's been done alreaedy and what's missing and shoot myself to help others get the insight i have which would make other peoples lives better, and give me an internet following and friends and contacts. Or maybe start a written private blog on teenage issues. I will develop my speaking skills, find a tone i can stick to, and inspire.

every week set plans:
I'm going to speak to at least two new people this week, on subways, on the internet, while walking my dog, while going out with freidns. I will find two interesting people this week.
or I'm going to work on my health and exercise. Exercising increases stamina and willpower, makes me confident, and outspoken.
I will make one persons life better this week. I will prepare a meal for my parents and my familys situation will become closer and tighter.

and so on… The point is to plan, then carry it out, and record what worked and what didn't. Youll be an epic human being eventually, not necessarily over a summer. People who become epic over a summer are superstars who release a record hit and sell miillions of copies their first week. But for the rest of us there are more meaningul ways to become epic, but it takes more time. The first point is to develop yourself, build a strong foundation for yourself and that is confidence and self respect, then you become invincible, you will not give up easy and you will always push for more.

I'm not a native too. And I'm sure I'll make mestakes during my answer…
I had a similar past, but now I'm ok. So my advise is: be always the same! Don't let the world change you, don't let the others choose for you. You'll see your life being beautiful!
Aim is everything!
Trust me.
If you wanna keep speaking about, can write on htpp://www.manus.forumotion.com