My heart is broken. What should I do?

My husband cheated on me with a female co-worker of his. They are in the army and apparently it only lasted about a month. I found out because one night he was asleep and I was awake using the computer and his phone would vibrate non-stop. I thought it was his mother because he is very close with her and they contact each other daily. To my surprise it was a supposed "SGT ***" who was texting him. His iphone displayed the messages on the lock screen but I had seen enough for my heart to break into a million pieces. After that incident it took about a week for him to end the relationship but during that week he still kept lying to me every time I asked him if they were still in contact. To my humiliation, most of his co-workers knew about their relationship and even made jokes about it to him. They did end up having intimacy even though he denied it at first but I had the evidence to back up my accusation. I saw a lot of things I now regret because it is making forgiveness very difficult.

It's been almost 6 months since all of that and we now live in a different state. Our relationship has turned into something else. I know that I'm not perfect and that we all make mistakes and have flaws but this was a decision he made that affected not only himself but me. He doesn't blame me for it and says he wants to take responsibility for his actions and that he loves. I love him too… But I feel as though a part of me has died since that day and I feel that i will always have somewhat of resentment towards him. I don't know what to believe anymore all I know is that I don't hurt the ones I love like that. Sometimes I think that if I had found out I would still be oblivious to this till this day. A part of me wants to go away for awhile back to my home town but I feel afraid and I don't know why. Then what? I won't be able to runaway from this forever. He was my first one and only true love and now I feel so lost and alone. I've always been such an opened book with him about everything in my life. I thought he was too with me… Everyday I wake up to a flashback that ruins my day and mood. I always end up crying or mad.

OK, get it through your head that it made him happy. You want him to be happy, right? You are making yourself miserable, just stop doing it. I can't explain it effeciently but in a true love situation "cheating" becomes irrelevant. Deal with the fact that it's jealousy that's causing your pain, you need to stop it.

Go back to your hometown for a while - go be around people who love you and care about you. Distance right now is healthy for you and your marriage - just don't bad mouth your hubby in his absence but do use the time away to sort through your emotions and figure out your next step. If you choose to stay in the marriage then you both have to go to counseling and if you choose to part ways, then you need therapy to help you cope

Sometimes, you have to look at something subjectively. This is a problem you two didn't have to face. Is he asking too much for you to stay? Infidelity is a dealbreaker for a lot of people and there's no use in wasting two or three years of your life if you're going to split anyway. I say… See a counselor for a few sessions to determine whether or not this is something you want to work through. It might be much easier to just say, "This was a bad time in my life, and I'm glad that it's over," and move on.

" I know that I'm not perfect and that we all make mistakes "

Somehow, I bet you've never done anything NEARLY as bad as what he's done.

"He was my first one and only true love"

Teenage sweethearts? High school couple? This is why such relationships don't result in long-lasting marriages. You married too young. Young military marriages are the most likely to end in divorce.