Please criticize my poem about money?

Aight, so I'm a 16 year old kid and I wanted to make a poem for my project in LA, never wrote one before but made some raps in my head in the past. This is a draft:

Hard working kids like me try to get a job,
some kids with rich parents can be snobs.

Some broke kids are sad, lack of money hurts their feels,
Other kids do illegal things, and try to make some deals.

People get obsessed with money, some even fall in love,
Only to later realize that they will never have enough.

It can make you selfish, mean and greedy,
society judges what assets you have got.
You buy expensive accessories and clothes,
While something purposeful the money could have bought.

If we could altogether properly pitch in,
We can do something big,
Together we can win.
So many problems can be dealt with,
this whole world can be changed.
We just need our priorities completely rearranged.

We could help starving kids,
get the homeless off the streets.
Patch many different lives up
That once were incomplete.

Why do you need that stupid iPhone?
Or that useless flashy chain?
While the homeless are so cold and hungry
and waste their lives in pain.

It's fun to spend your money,
I understand, don't get me wrong.
But it seems kinda funny
what you waste it on.
At least use your resources wisely.
if you don't help someone out,
Use it to improve yourself,
It what's right to do, no doubt.

We live in an amazing time,
You choose what you want to do.
We're free to make our choices,
Choose our rolemodels too.

Added (1). We have time to look into philosophies that don't gather fame.
Because too many listen to idiot like Bieber and Lil' Wayne.

This is what makes people say that our generation's screwed.
The media and money has made everyone confused.

Added (2). We have the tools** to look into, not time

TL;DR

try a haiku