Would it be bad to allow my two year-old daughter to have an Uber account?

She's been frequently acting naughty at daycare lately. I'm sick of having to leave work to pick her up, so I'm thinking about buying her an iPhone 6s Plus, giving her a credit card to pay for rides, and downloading Uber for her, so that if she gets kicked out of daycare she can request an uberX.

But I was speaking with a friend of mine, and she thought I was joking. She said it wasn't funny at all to make such a horrible joke, and that she has a dog (a chihuahua) and didn't allow her dog to have an Uber account, iPhone 6s Plus, or credit card until her dog turned three.

What are your views?

A two year old doens't need any account
what

You are NOT a good parent. These strangers have been known to attack their passengers. You are an idiot. Let some relative have the child.