Hello there, am i an antisocial?

Just wanna make sure that i'm ok.
so i'm not actually good at talking, it depends on how people treat me first.i'd rather listen then be the center of attention.sometimes i blame myself for all the bad things that happens around me i always find a connection that it is affected by something i did. I often get confused of what i should respond to things/people, and i often get confused by what i or someone did to me is a bad thing or not, should i stop myself/them to do it.
to be honest, i don't like to communicate with people, especially toddlers. I do like to be around people that loves me, but to be honest i rather not talk to each of them.
i'm fifteen, but my father still treats me like a child. I'm not allowed to watch 13+ films, series similiar to csi&dexter, and he asks me to read bible everyday, which i didn't. My grandma bought an iphone for me, but i didn't want to use it since i don't communicate with anyone. My father didn't want me to use it either.
i pray before i go to bed, but i feel like i'm talking to myself, not to God.
I haven't been to church for more then 4 months because I'm scared of the teenagers who comes there, that they might secretly hates me.
i'm weighted 70 kg with a height of 165+, and i'm one of the top 10 students in my class and a few people hate me.
they tease me because i'm the new kid

i don't have any siblings.

sometimes i ask myself why am i still here?

i get frustrated a lot and i often cry myself to sleep. But i never say a thing about it to anybody.

i'm really scared about myself because i often can't tell people or express my feelings to people. I rarely got mad i always hide my feelings

sometimes i watch criminal minds just to learn how do serial killers hide evidence but nah i'm not gonna kill people

No, I really don't think you're that antisocial. There's a reason for everyone to be in this world. I experience feeling very similar to yours, sometimes I feel so very alone in this world and it feels like no one understands me. Because I'm always with kids younger than me (I stayed a year) it just seems that our level of thinking doesn't quite match on some levels. Things they consider important are just not so important to me, I find it extremely difficult to find someone whom I can call a true friend.
Remember you're not entirely alone, they are many others like you.