How to take good pictures of myself? - 2

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hello everyone,
basically I ask this question because when I take pictures of myself I look strange, for instance, my skin looks red/pale and shiny, my face looks undefined and it's hard to see facial features

however, when I use flash it is a lot better, my skin tone looks more natural, my face is more defined and my features stand out more.

I use my iPhone to take all my photographs

Sometimes with videos I tend to look slightly more natural however most the time my skin still looks red as shiny (i can assure you that I do not have red skin)

all answers appreciated, thank you, have a good day

You can't take decent photos of yourself, using a phone camera at arm's length. The lens is too wide and will distort your features. Not many people look good in a selfie. The camera should be about 5 feet away to get a good result.