Why do I have HORRIBLE luck?

I'm seriously beginning to think I was cursed the very moment I was born. First day of freshman year, my phone slipped out of my hand and completely broke. Just a few months ago, my new (wasn't even 2 weeks old) iPhone 6+ was stolen from me (filed a police report but never got it back). Morning of my first day of junior year as I was leaving my house headed to school, I tripped and sprained my ankle. Tomorrow's my birthday, my best friend and I were planning on going out but she has work so I canceled, for her sake. Since it would be a pretty boring idea to not do anything tomorrow, I bought an hour long facial session from Groupon… Awesome right? Nope! Someone snatched my appointment that was supposed to be tomorrow night at the VERY LAST MINUTE as I was putting in my credit card info. I still have the coupon, so I can always go another day but seriously? I can't even treat myself to a nice relaxing facial on my birthday? Ugh. Just wanted to put this out there.

What are my options for music storage?

I just want to be able to play my music from my iphone, and store it on someone elses hard drive. I have about 160 GB+ in music, and more than the 25k in songs allowed by iMatch, I doubt that they will ever raise the limit, so I suppose my only choice is to go for one of the pay by gigabite things which would set me back quite a lot.

How would I survive on a island with a iPhone?

My biggest fear during a flight is obviously a plane crash. Not many people survive, so my second biggest fear is to survive a plane crash and to be stranded on an island. Being a 13 y/o with an iPhone, would I be able to use it to my advantage and make calls. I would like to first be able to call my parents and say stuff like "I'm alive, but I've pulled a castaway." I would also like to contact 911 for obvious reasons as well. So, is it possible to make calls in the middle of nowhere, or could I use the emergency call option to my advantage?

What is taking up all the memory on my iPhone 6?

So I went to storage and added all the app usage (photos included) which adds up to about 4.8 GB. I have the 16 GB which I know is only about 11.7 GB because of the iOS which takes up room. But this would mean that I should have about 7GB of free space. However, it says USED: 9.4GB and Free: 2.3 GB. What the hell is taking up 9.4GB when everything adds up to 4.8?

Is there ANY POSSIBLE Way to block emojis on an IPhone?

No, IIm not just talking about deleting the keyboard. I want to eradicate those piece-of-crap emojis off of my phone and away from my eye holes. IIm sick of going on social media and getting texts of constant emoji after emoji. GAAAAH IT'S INSANITY!

… Sorry, that was kind of unprofessional…

*Ahem.
What I mean to ask is if I can somehow block emojis from showing up. I guess I can relate it to a non-smartphone receiving an emoji and it just shows up as a(n) I ll be honest, IIm willing to go as far as learning how to code/hack my phone just to remove those… Things… Off my phone.