Why is my boyfriend so ungrateful and unappreciative?

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years now and last year we broke up for a few months because I was starting to feel a little unhappy. I realized how much I missed him and how much I wanted it to work so I came back. Things have been kind of rocky since then, we argue constantly, we have our good weeks and then we have a bad day or two. I do realize couples argue but he always says mean and hurtful things and I end up in tears.
We recently started to go back out and do things like we used to and things have started to turn around. We have the same phone plan so I thought it would be nice to get him a new upgraded phone, unfortunalty the phone that he wanted is way out of my budget(I just bought a house so I'm on a budget.Ps. He doesn't live with me because he doesn't have a job and can't help provide) so instead I thought to get him a iPhone which is a really nice upgrade. He went off telling me he's done and that he doesn't want me to do sh** for him and that I need to call the company and cancel the order because he didn't want it.
If really hurts because I thought it would be something nice to do. I really don't understand how someone can be so ungrateful.

He doesn't have a job

and he doesn't live with you in your house that you are buying because "he can't help provide" and you buy him an iphone, and wonder why he is upset?

sounds like you are in VERY different places
you have your head screwed on, buying a house etc
and he is still very much "one of the boys, goofing around in life"

he feels you are buying him/flashing cash around him
and it sounds like you are more in love with the memories of how it used to be rather than the guy in front of you

I don't understand why a young woman who has a job and is successful enough to buy a home would think she has anything in common with an unemployed, unappreciative bum. Because you don't.

And i also wonder why you'd put him on your phone plan? Apparently, he's not disabled, stupid, or without limbs, so if he wants a phone or anything else in this world, he needs to MAN UP and get a frigging job.

It also sounds as if he is a miserable person, saying mean and hurtful things. While the mean, hurtful things aren't really about you, but about HIM, still it's not a very good way to behave.

I have no idea why you'd be with someone like this. I sure as hell wouldnt.

Perhaps you wanted to get back together with him because you've relaxed into a "comfort zone" with him -- from the outside looking in, it doesn't look all that comfortable.

Sorry but this guy needs to grow up. He needs to get a job and a few responsibilities and start treating you like a decent human being rather than a spoilt child treats their Mother when they don't get the right toy.

He is so ungrateful. I'm not surprised you are so upset. You've been so understanding and compassionate to him and you get shouted at and mistreated…

I think you are in love with how he used to be or how you'd like him to be because the 'actual him' is pretty obnoxious. He can't provide either affection, stability or financially towards your future and there's no appreciation for what you do to pick up his slack either.

If you are honest with yourself, I think you know what you need to do. You did it before, only this time, do it for good. Everyone deserves a second chance, he's had his and blown it - spectacularly. Move on and find yourself a real man who can provide for all your needs. Love, stability and financially. It will hurt at first but it will also provide a sense of relief.

Good luck and best wishes to you. Get a refund on that phone and buy yourself something nice, sod him.x

OMG… The answer is right in your words. He is ungrateful and spoiled. Your being nice obviously means nothing to him and we both know you can't buy love. Please do yourself a favor move on! Sounds like you have it together. It is sometimes impossible to figure people out and very often they never change… Love yourself enough to let him go. HIS LOSS!