APPLE ITUNES - syncing iphone?

I have had heaps of trouble with the new ITUNES 11.
Basically, my ipad, ipod and iphone are synced to the home computer, and have been synced to the home computer for the past 4 years. Yet, i don't use this computer often, and have started downloading music onto my laptop. There was never an issue with putting music from my laptop to iphone with ITUNES 10, as i could manually drag it on there. However, on the ITUNES 11, i have authorised my computer, and selected manually load songs, but when i click 'sync music' (as i do not have an autofill option located on the "on this device" tab) there's an error message, saying i have to erase absolutely everything on my phone, to put my new songs on there, i then put these songs on a usb, and tried on the home computer, but the same error message kept appearing!
Does anyone know how to fix this?
Any help would be fantastic, thank you!

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