Why am i and how can i stop being so mean to people esp to those i love?
Lease help me! I'm such a mean person and although i try, i can't stop. I'm so mean to my parents. They give me everything and love me so much, yet I'm just so rude to them and this makes me really sad. I'm a 17 years boy, the youngest of my siblings and whenever I argue with my parents, ESP my mother, I say some very cruel things that I end up regretting but I can never manage to apologize (I'm too cowardly). Also I feel like the main reason behind my cruel misdemeanor is that I have been spoiled for so long that I don't realize how lucky I really am to have them and i take eveything they give me for granted. Basically I would argue with my parents for the stupidest reasons and criticize and blame them for everything. I'm also really short tempered and impatient. Once when my mom picked me up two hours late from school, I was so angry that I started cussing at her with the meanest words I could thing of. I also yelled at her when she accidentally poured water and hence ruined my history project. And for my dad well i insult him everytime we reach an argument. I criticize his job, his clothes, and everything. I really wish I wasn't so spoiled cuz if I wasn't I probably wouldnt be such as dick. They give me everything (if i want a new laptop they give it to me, if i want a new iphone they give me it to me) and are just so lenient towards me. They always try to make me happy, yet i bet i'm a huge disappointment to them. I get poor grades in school and i'm the worst kid a parent could wish for.sometimes i wish they actually disciplined and hit me whenever i do something wrong so i can actually learn to behave. I also wish I wasn't so mean to other kids in my school. I'm a popular kid at my school and well anyways my best friend who is a real jerk would always tease these so called unpopular and ugly girls in my school but I can't help but feel really bad for them but I don't do anything about it. Instead I pretend to laugh alongside him and my friends but deep down I feel really guilty. There was also this one really sad, lonely, and mentally ill kid who would always talk to me and wanted to be my friend, yet i would always be mean to him whenever my friends were around. I feel really bad for him though cuz he just looks so sad and lonely all the time.lastly, I'm also so cruel to my girlfriend. I would never hit her but I do say some very mean things to her when I'm angry. I always call her stupid and ugly and make her cry when she is really the nicest, smartest, and most beautiful girl i know. It tears me when she cries, but i never try comforting or appologizing to her (cuz again I'm too cowardly). She deserves someone much better than me. I just hate it how I'm so selfish and mean to everyone.everyone in this world treats me so well yet i treat everyone so badly. I'm so lucky to have such a kind and beautiful girlfriend and a loving family; however, instead of returning the love they give me, i make their lives a living nightmare. I'm so depressed right now and i cry almost everyday because of all this and now I feel like just killing myself because my family, girlfriend, and the world would be whole lot better without me. I talked to my counselor about it and she said i might have an extreme case of bipolarism.