My mom hasn't really gotten me anything for the past 3 years on Christmas & also has called me a dog on my Birthday & for no reason returned the things I got on Black Friday & also my birthday present. She keeps telling me i'm ungrateful & rude & mean to her, but i'm trying to be truthful. Every time I say something to 'stand up for myself' she always thinks i'm being ungrateful & rude. She has called me many many many names & she is also the reason why I'm in such disgust with myself & am so down & negative about myself because, all she does is treat me badly. In all honesty, I don't ask for much. I don't even have cell phone service & i'm 14 soon going to be 15! Everyone I know insults me for not having it, so for quite a long time i've been asking my mom for it & all she tells me is that it's unneeded & she can't 'afford' it. When in reality, she get's 2K per month from her job & her cell phone bill is only 47$. She handed me down a broken IPhone 4 & i'm okay with using it, but she keeps saying it's unndeed when we have Wi-Fi in the house. But, I keep telling her that if in a case, I need to call someone in an emergency that isn't so urgent to call the police I have nothing!
Also, another thing that bothers me is that I gave my mom a necklace last christmas with a perfume that costed 65$ last year & this year she re-gifted the necklace & gave it back to me. It makes me so mad, that she didn't put any effort like I did when I gave her a present.
I feel that i'm very very thankful & very grateful for what I have, but when it comes to actually needing something or maybe having something nice for once.
I don't have much clothes either, all I have is 2 pairs of jeans & I only wear sweatshirts & I have one pair of shoes that I wear on a daily basis.
What do I do, am I ungrateful, am I a bad person for knowing what I need?
I'm only 14 & I feel really terrible. On Christmas Day.
She also actually got something for our cat, rather than me as her own child.
Added (1). I can't go to my dad's either
Added (2). Also, my mom has told me that she needs to appreciate me more, but she hasn't done anything.