How to prepare my Iphone to be stolen?

OK… So I believe that our janitor is stealing from everyone. I've had a camera, a charger, and some change stolen.
My iphone 4 is long due for an upgrade but first I want to leave it out to be stolen.
I've heard of "Find my iPhone" but that's only gonna work if the phone is left on.
What the best way to track the phone and find the thief?

Added (1). I'm not in school. I work in an office.

Added (2). Please only respond with an answer to: How can I set up my iphone to find the person who steals it?

Added (3). The phone is worthless. Dented, beat up and in poor condition. I have already been told by my carrier that I won't receive any $ for trading it in. Please stick to the question being asked.

My iPhone stuck in Soft DFU, why?

I have a iphone 4. I wanted to downgrade from iOS 7 to iOS 6.1.2 with SHSH blobs, but then itunes finished with downgrade it doesn't boot. My iphone stuck in softdfu. Why? How to fix it?

How to bypass iphone activation?

I bought a iphone 4s from a person that has a icloud id and password on. I factory reset the phone on itunes but know the phone ask the icloud id and password to activate mine doesn't work it is still on the other person id. I can't get hold of him to delete his account.

When does it show a FB user active?

I'm just curious if when Facebook shows a person was (active 2 hours ago) in a message if that means they just opened/were scrolling through the app or if this means they opened/responded to their messages?
All being seen on iPhones

My iPhone turns off randomly? - 1

I recently come to ohio. After a
Day my phone started shutting off more then usual, it would shut off occasionally when I drop it. Now it turns off a lot and I don't know why. I have enough battery life. When it turns off It would show the apple sign and then turn off. When I would charge it it would do the same thing. I tried restoring it, it didn't do much. It does turn off as much. My iPhone has history of waster damage, it has been months since then. I'm going to replace my front panel and my battery.

Can a dish hopper automatically connect to an iPhone?

We have recently bought a dish hopper for our tv. My father claims that he is able to see what I'm watching on my iPhone through the tv. I don't see how that would be possible. Especially, since my iPhone is not connected to our hopper.

Iphone 5 stuck at activation screen?

I recently found an iphone 5 at a party, the phone is stuck at the activation screen though, i'm not sure what ios it is on but i think its the latest ios 7.1 is there any way around this?
UK EE provider