How to break my iphone 4 to get the iphone 5?

I currently have the iphone 4 and am eligible for an upgrade. I have the money to pay for the new iphone myself, but my parents said they don't see a point in me upgrading. But, my phone has been running extremely slow and I would really like to have some of the new features that the iPhone 5 is offering. I already asked them if I could sell my phone and buy the new one, but they said no.So, I figured, if I break it, then they will probably let me get the new one. But I don't want them to know that I intentionally broke it. Did any of you ever accidently break your iphone, if so, how did it happen? Or, what is a good "accidental" way to break it? Please nothing sarcastic. I just need to make it look like an accident.

Added (1). The only thing is if I attempt to break it, it has to be broken because I can't attempt it a second time.

Should i keep my iphone 4s or get the iphone 5?

I have an iphone 4s and its in basically perfect condition, but i really want the iphone 5 and i don't know if i should get it. My contract for my phone plan is over in 2014 so i would have to pay around $200 to break the contract and then like $200 for the iphone 5. Do you think its worth it?

Making an Android/Iphone app?

I have a spreadsheet with all the necessary formula's for data entry.
I would like to 'jazz' this up a little and make an Android or Iphone app from this spreadsheet.
I'm thinking I may need to use xcode (yes I have no experience of using it as of yet) but can anyone offer some advice on where I should be starting? Would this be a hard project for me to complete?

Nothing happens when i plug my iphone into my computer?

When i plug my iphone into my computer using the USB lead nothing happens, it doesn't charge or anything. However when i use the same lead with my charger plug thing the iphone charges fine, and when i use the lead with my ipod and my computer it works fine it seems to just be my phone and computer together? Anyone had a similar problem that can help?!

To use an AT&T iPhone 4S with straight talk, does it need to be unlocked?

I'm going to switch my iPhone 4S over from AT&T to straight talk. I'm unsure wether the phone needs to be unlocked or not. Some blogs say it doesn't, some suggest it. I've had mixed answers from straight talk reps. I don't know what to think! Does it need to be unlocked or not to use the phone with straight talk?

Can a iphone 4 or a 4s from verison be unlocked?

My friend is getting the iphone 5 and he will give me his 4. I have T-mobile which dooesnt carry the iphone. Can it be unlocked so that I can use it with T-mobile? If so how do I unlock it?